BDSM For Beginners

Is it time for the whip on the bedside table and the handcuffs on the bedpost?

Many people wonder what it’s all about with these sexual practices that are about lust for pain, power and impotence. We give insight and tips for experiments …

 

When the friend becomes the cathedral: A woman discovers BDSM

How does BDSM work — and what’s the point?
Linda Macallan wanted to know: looking for answers beyond stereotypes, she went to the BDSM scene and looked around there.

In a self-experiment, she attended various events and asked people from the scene about their kinks & special way of loving.

From these encounters the scene guide “Where love strikes” arose. “I want to give the readers a little insight, take them with them. They can play nice,a peek through the keyhole.

Perhaps you can see afterwards that there is a lot more to the SM scene than previously thought,” explains Linda Macallan.

Find your way online
One of the best-known online platforms is the “slave centre”.

The SZ covers much more than a mere search for a partner, it is a huge information platform for inclinations of all kinds.

Newcomers, in particular, can get an overview here.

Find Mistress Chat rooms here

Online contacts: How do I get to know people?

Regardless of whether you are a man, woman or transgender: prefer to take it a little slower.

After all, you don’t know who you’re dealing with. So better stay away from individual meetings and first look for public groups, for round tables, workshops or the like.

If you don’t want to go alone, it’s best to write to people who have registered for the event beforehand.

Hardly anyone reacts to newcomers in a repellent way, and regulars, in particular, are open and helpful. Live BDSM cam chats that have webcams are a great place, sites like livebdsmcams.net & cam4 have lots of online Mistresses than enjoy training novices.

 

What is a munch? BDSM kinky munch etiquette for the first time A munch is a gathering of kinky people in a vanilla setting, usually a pub or cafe.

There is a lot of it and finding a regulars table can be fun. Do not despair immediately if the “right” people were not there the first time, in time you will find people with whom you are on the same wavelength.

Find like-minded people online and write to them. Or even better: look for a beginner group and go there with people from your region.

SM gibberish

Age Play,

Dental Nurse,

Tawse,

Gender-Bender,

Pony Play,

Switcher — you don’t understand a word?

No problem. The SM gibberish is a primaeval forest and it is a good idea to simply ignore most of these words. In order to get to the point during a conversation, words like Sub, Top, Bottom or Dom really make sense. Techniques, toys and fetishes also have special names.

That certainly makes sense too — for those who like to give their child a name. Then the SM gibberish is helpful.

Passion, role, fetish

“Nosceteipsum!” — Recognize yourself! The discovery of inclination is always followed by exploration. It’s tempting to fall back on established models or definitions when trying to understand yourself.

There is a lot of it for BDSM, especially since the topic is omnipresent on the Internet and other media.

We easily forget that much of what is shown there is nothing but construction. Models explain BDSM and its meaning as little as Dr Norris’s orgasm in summer. Sexuality can only be discovered through experience.

How important is a safe word?

Communication is the key, not only in a partnership but also in SM. A safeword means a signal that signals your partner how you are doing, even in the most impossible game situation.

It can be used to terminate a situation, but also for simple feedback of feelings. When a situation is abandoned, it is important to intercept each other and be there for each other, regardless of roles.

BDSM and everyday life

There are also many in the SM scene who want public acceptance of their sexuality. BDSM is a non-gender-specific sexual tendency with diverse manifestations.

Some of their varieties carry sexuality into the public space and some touch the grey areas of the protective rights of body, psyche and person. In the discovery phase, you may forget that your sexuality is not that of the general public.

What and how much of it you share with whom should be carefully considered. Take your time to discover yourself, but don’t let your inclination control you.

Are workshops worthwhile?

Can you actually learn to cut? Do you have to be brave, crazy, mean or maybe even sensitive?

If you ask yourself these or other questions, you need to be better informed. Workshops make sense, its how you can learn and understand the culture behind Bdsm

Dress code: What am I going to wear?

There are also dress codes in the BDSM scene. They can be found explicitly in the descriptions of parties.

They reveal which audience the organizer is attracting, what mood they want to create and help to make the event something special. Adhering to such a dress code is a good thing.

When choosing, you should, of course, keep in mind that others will try to read your role and inclination based on your clothing. For example, those who are more dominant are better off keeping their necklaces off.

Do you have to play at parties?

You cannot and do not have to play at every party.

There are many different formats. Basically, only if there is a play party on it is there a play party.

In addition, the SM scene is not a swinger club, despite all promiscuity and even play parties having their own rules.

You will never be forced to play unless you insist. Uninhibited dredging is frowned upon. In the face of debauchery and bare facts, the charm is the key. This also applies to discretion.

Even when couples play in public, it is not an invitation to participate, comment or touch.

Looking for other interesting articles? Then check out permanent orgasm denial and learn what is involved in this kinky method